Rewriting our Story, or . . . the Circle of Life
Our trailer, still on the lot, awaiting delivery on May 14
I first wrote these paragraphs as part of a sermon in the midst of the series about grief we did in January & February; For that series, I leaned heavily on a book called The Ministry of Lament: Caring for the Bereaved, by Eugene Fowler, in which he describes an important part of grieving as “rewriting one’s story” as it exists without that which has been lost. Though loosely connected, it made me think of a rewriting of our mutual story Tim and I have been engaged in of late.
Up until this past summer, never in a million years would I have thought my life story would someday include owning an RV trailer or a trailer site. My parents have owned a lovely cabin on Wakonda campground since 1994, I am an only child so I will surely inherit it—why would I need a trailer? But then, Keith and Jess got pregnant, and we all—my parents, Keith and Jess, Tim and me, and Kyle—spent a week in that lovely cabin—a wonderful week—by the end of which we all knew—there wasn’t gonna be room for a baby. We joked about putting her in a hammock hanging from the ceiling, or turning one of the porches into a nursery . . . but it wasn’t happening. If we want to be able to enjoy whole family time there—we need more space. So, as of late October 2020, Tim and I are now the owners of an RV, a Keystone Residence as well as a trailer site at Wakonda.
A sadness that came to us in the Spring of 2020 was the death of Tim’s parents within a few months of each other. I think it’s safe to say that that loss, along with the pandemic in general, has heightened all of our sense of the value of life, of each other, of family and quality time together. While still processing the sadness of their loss, Tim received an unexpected inheritance from his parents—and so through a series of conversations and opportunities, we decided to purchase a site, or technically, shares in the co-op that give us use of the site, just a few sites away from where my aunt and uncle have a trailer—expanding the family compound, so to speak, and re-writing our story in a way I don’t think either Tim or I ever contemplated before. In October, we had a free afternoon and went out to Alpin Haus, to just look at trailers, we weren’t going to buy—just look—and found a really fabulous one—and—poof—here we are, joining the ranks of those with trailer camps in the Adirondacks. We closed on it and the site all in the same week our precious Hellon was born.
Reflecting on it all, I don’t think it’s entirely random that what we decided to use some of that inheritance for is a place where our family will be able to enjoy time together and continue to grow together into the future. Tim’s parents may be the most family oriented, family focused people I’ve ever met—and I know a lot of family people. They worked their whole lives to provide a more solid, secure, and loving life for their children and grandchildren than either of them had had—and they succeeded, and—almost by accident—built up quite a nest egg along the way. I remember Tim’s mother telling me, when she was probably about my age, that the most important thing in her life was her children and grandchildren . . . at the time, I didn’t entirely get it—but I do now. Part of what I get is that she didn’t mean that her work and other things she enjoyed doing were NOT important to her, more that the other parts of her life circled around her family and those precious and unique connections. I wish I could tell her that I get it now—but, in faith, have to believe that she knows and maybe even, always did know—that someday, I’d know what she meant. What she didn’t know at the time was that her life story was to include 30 more years of a vital & active life including family times as well as new friends and interests and maybe a few rewrites of her own story.
And so, as we explore our new trailer and site, and enjoy more family time together in that space, we’ll be bringing the memory and heritage of Rich and Alice Coombs along with us, as Hellon grows up surrounded by the kind of love they taught and brought to their family.